On Manopause

Bend and Stretch

I was talking to my mate who’s a Yogi. If you do yoga, you’re not someone who does yoga, you’re a yogi. It made me wonder what would happen if Yogi Bear was an actual Yogi Bear? Instead of saying ‘I’m smarter than the average bear,’ he might have said ‘I’m more balanced and centred than the average bear.’

I was telling my Yogi mate that I sometimes suffer with nervousness and she said to me, ‘Ah, well I can teach you some yoga to help with that.’  

I thought this is amazing, because I’ve heard all about the advantages of yoga, particularly as you get older, and I was thinking about the health benefits and the bonuses to your mental state.  

I couldn’t help thinking though, that I hoped I wouldn’t have to go upside down. If I went upside down and I was dizzy then I’d feel sick and I’d rather be nervous than have vertigo.

It occurred to me that I should start warming up. The only problem was that because it was my first attempt at yoga the only point of reference I had was warm ups I’d done for footy.  I ended up standing on one leg in what I suspected might be a yoga position of sorts combined with getting my neck ready to go into a scrum.   

She asked me to stand comfortably and I didn’t have the heart to tell her it was impossible to be comfortable when someone’s negative energy was impacting so heavily on the room.

She looked pleased with my progress nonetheless when I assumed my comfortable stance. Then she said ‘Take a deep breath in through your nose.’ I was thinking downward dog salutation is just a few moves away. ‘Then release the breath from your mouth.’  

At this point she exclaimed ‘That’s it you’re doing it.’  Now I’m not sure what the yoga move is called I nicknamed it ‘breathing.’  I also don’t know if perhaps I wasn’t doing it properly but I think I had the hang of it fairly quickly.  I mean people spend three months in India learning this stuff.  I mastered it in 25 seconds at a café in Mullumbimby.

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