On Manopause, Sept 2018

The Green Machine.

Technically speaking, are reusable bags still reusable if you have no intention of ever using them again? It’s not that I don’t care about the environment. I’m trying to get better at it. I still don’t really know what goes in the recycling bin but I like whales. Whilst I do care about the environment, I care very little for shopping and that is probably where the issue lies.

I found myself in the supermarket, bagless again. It’s not that I don’t have bags, I have truck loads of bags, I just never have a bag when I’m caught in the shopping moment. In fairness, it’s not often that I have to do the supermarket shopping.

I worked out quite early on in my adulting that if I displayed a general ineptitude for things, it became much easier to astound people when the situation demanded it. I established my role in my marriage as the spender. Now when the spender is married to the saver and the manager of household economy, it becomes a very rare occurrence to be let loose on the weekly shop.

However, here I was alone and unsupervised. Bagless of course. I usually begin such expeditions by choosing something large and flat. Washing powder or a family pizza works well. I then make every purchasing decision based on that item’s suitability to be stacked on top. I’m not looking for Australian made or organic, mostly just for square stuff.   

I take the whole no bag thing seriously. A slave to my art some might say.

The leaning tower of groceries is not achieved without sacrifice. I’ve bruised a lot of apples over the years, but they had no place in the tower.

Balancing the tower of groceries from the checkout to the car is fraught with danger. I’ve taken to leaving the back window of the car open, so I can just sort of hurl the groceries from five metres out.

Tricky if you have eggs, but thankfully I mostly just have washing powder and family pizzas.

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