It took me 4 years to step back on the court after a knee rebuild in 2013. Putting the ball back in my hands 6 weeks ago was an unbelievable feeling! I was back at my happy place, the place I forever felt comfortable, the place I spent my whole childhood; the basketball court. I was a bit rusty after all the time away but as I gave my best mate a hi-5 after warm up I said ‘I’m back, I’m feeling good, expect a big game, I’m ready to go!’ The first 3 quarters I put up a solid performance then with 4 minutes to go before the game was out I heard a sound I never wanted to hear again; my ligament snapping! Instantly my heart sank knowing the road of rehab that was ahead of me.
After only 2 weeks of trying to manage life I’ve hit a dark hole mentally. Having functional exercise taken away from me is like taking away my medication, it changes me as a person not having that outlet! I need the endorphins that exercise brings, I need them. They define me!
Whilst I know it’s only temporary and there are plenty far worse off I can’t help but feel frustrated. Upset with myself thinking I should have known that would happen, why did I get back on the court? These thoughts don’t do me any favours, therefore I’m making a conscious choice to only draw on useful beliefs during this time. I’ve had to look at what I can do not what I can’t do. I’m choosing to see the glass half full not half empty and using this time to draw more gratitude into my life as opposed to drawing negativity from my own thoughts. It’s easier said than done, but times like this I must remember my self worth and that my resilience and adversity will see me through this.
As a good friend reminded me today, bravery is showing mental strength when faced with difficulty. If you’re on a similar journey to mine right now I encourage you to be brave, stick with useful beliefs, educate yourself on positive mental health and look at what you can do not what you can’t. Half full not half empty.