Wouldn’t Be Dead For Quids, August 17

Dave took me to the cinema for a night out. We don’t do that often enough anymore as iview, SBS on demand and Netflix had somehow moved into our lounge room, much like guests who never leave. Nothing beats flopping around on our comfy couch wearing active wear doing the complete opposite of what that particular style of clothing is designed for. 

So we got dressed up for this night. I wore high heels and Dave wore thongs, which, when he saw my face, he quickly explained were the ones he’d bought in Vietnam on his last golf trip with the boys. So that obviously made them special thongs which apparently made them ok.

We hopped in the car and headed off to see the movie he’d picked as my surprise. I double checked with him that he’d taken my taste into account this time, as once before, actually many times before, I’d been stuck watching car chases, people being thrown off balconies, bodies exploding or underbelly style stuff going on in French prisons which is not what I call having an enjoyable evening. He said, Babe relax, stop panicking, I’ve picked a movie we’ll both like, trust me. After buying tickets and icecreams, we chose seats in the middle of the middle and started chomping through the choc tops.

The movie started and I was overjoyed at how thoughtful he’d been choosing a chick flick which normally he hates. It suddenly made sense why he was one of two men in the entirely packed out venue.

At the exact same time he was trying his best to hide the look of horror on his face as he too watched the opening scene and realised his big mistake,  then his secondary realization kicked in. That of.. he had to sit through two more hours of this crap. So the story progressed with giggling actresses, girls shopping, the main man chasing the wrong girl, the good girl in tears with her girlfriends hugging her. Eventually the young buffed guy realized his mistake and declared his love for the nice girl in the movie as he’d finally seen through the bitch and they kiss and every woman in the cinema was crying along with me.

Suddenly a loud wilderbeast sound reverberated the 4 walls of the cinema. I looked over, it was Dave, sound asleep with his head flung back and his tongue hanging out.

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